13 Comments
User's avatar
Jen's avatar

Did you know there's a Buddhist parable about the Two Arrows? The first arrow is the event that causes pain out of your control; the second arrow is the optional pain from how we respond to the first arrow. In your story, the 1st is the pain of needing a new car and buying one (on a whim?!). The 2nd is that you felt embarrassed by your questionable purchase....but because you have an awesome wife and are a self-reflective person, you've pulled out that 2nd arrow and are healing 😊 Your post today reminded me about that. Thanks!

Derek Pharr's avatar

OMG, thank you. I love that. And yeah I do have a pretty awesome wife :)

The Bicycle Gourmet's avatar

non buddists call the second arrow : Regret. I'm sure you have, and will hopefully share, a buddhist parable advising us how to be "arrow proof?"

Don Ludemann's avatar

Hey Derek,

I don't think you're risk adverse. But you might be risk averse, and there's nothing wrong with that!

And I agree with you that it's worth taking risks. I'm 69 yo and on my 5th career. It has been, and continues to be, a great ride!

Cheers!

Derek Pharr's avatar

Thanks man! Yeah more and more just gotta buckle up and see where all this takes ya

Holly Starley's avatar

I LOVE both your wife’s and your own response to this purchase!!

And I so get what you’re saying about risk and the risks of being risk adverse. I’ve recently had a setback in my life that has made me feel more fragile than I’ve ever felt. Now, on the cusp of returning to some parts of my life that I had to let go for a while, I find myself looking at risk in a whole new way. And not necessarily in a way I like. So I appreciate your perspective here.

Derek Pharr's avatar

Thank you so much! Yeah she did a great job of resetting me.

Jennifer Baratta's avatar

Look really carefully before buying used cars.

Derek Pharr's avatar

Or...just jump in wildly late at night.

The Bicycle Gourmet's avatar

a "bon esprit" doesn't always produce a "Bonheur."

User's avatar
Comment removed
Jan 20
Comment removed
The Bicycle Gourmet's avatar

"growth described as a mishap." Brill.

Derek Pharr's avatar

Thanks so much for that, yeah this has really turned out (so far) to be oddly rewarding.