Changing Your Default Settings

Did you know that you can change the defaults?

I began my career in technology in technical support for Adobe PageMaker. When Adobe shipped PageMaker 6.5, like any major software release, it came with significant changes that caused users headaches. This pre-dated the modern internet so you couldn't just Google a solution or watch a tutorial online. When daily users of the software upgraded and found their familiar settings had changed, they'd pick up the phone and call us for help. One of the most common issues? When the default settings ended up being different from what they were used to.

When software companies release major updates, they sometimes change defaults to introduce new features or improve the user experience. But for long-time users who have spent years building muscle memory around specific settings, these changes can feel like someone rearranged all the furniture in their house in the middle of the night. Suddenly, their trusted keyboard shortcuts don't work, their favorite tools are in different places, and their carefully customized workspace looks completely foreign.

And they get mad.

But, what most users didn't realize was that changing defaults in PageMaker was actually pretty simple. The trick was to make adjustments when no documents were open. You'd close all your documents, navigate to the settings you wanted to change – whether that was page size, orientation, margins, columns, or font preferences – and adjust them to your liking.

And for some reason, this reminds me of a quote from Tony Robbins, the life coach, motivational speaker, and best-selling personal development author. In his book "Awaken the Giant Within," he writes: 'The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your questions.'

I love this. I love the idea that our questions determine what we focus on, which in turn shapes how we feel and behave. All too often, we fall into patterns of asking ourselves negative or disempowering questions like "Why does this always happen to me?" or "Why am I always so broke?" Robbins is suggesting that by consciously improving the questions we ask ourselves, we can take control of our internal dialogue and mindset.

Or to put it another way: we change our defaults. So this week, let's dive into our mental defaults - what they currently are, what they could be, and when to reset them.

The Default Settings of Our Mind

Our minds tend to run on autopilot. Just like those PageMaker users who felt locked into those settings, people tend to fall into habitual thought patterns. These are the questions that pop into our heads unbidden when we face challenges or opportunities or even in our idle moments lost in our thoughts.

Stop me if these questions sound familiar:

• "What if I fail?"

• "What will others think?"

• "Why does this keep happening to me?”

• “Why am I like this?”

You might notice that these defaults trend toward the negative. Why? Well there is this little thing that psychologists like to call "negative self-referential processing". Basically, humans have a tendency to lock-in more deeply on negative experiences than positive ones. When something good happens, we might briefly acknowledge it and move on. But when something negative hits us, we analyze it repeatedly, which strengthens those neural pathways that lead to negative questioning patterns.

And this gels with our evolutionary heritage - our ancestors needed to be hyper-vigilant about threats to survive. Those who worried more about potential dangers were more likely to survive and pass on their genes. This built-in negativity bias served as a survival mechanism which was super handy way back when. But in our modern times, it manifests as reflexively negative self-questioning.

But we can overcome our heritage. We can reconfigure our mental defaults. Which of course begs the question…

What Questions Should We Be Asking?

Not to be too glib, but we should be asking better questions.

You may have heard the term "thoughts are things". It's true - what we think has a way of becoming reality. When we ask "What if I fail?", our mind immediately starts searching for all the possible ways things could go wrong. We manifest loss simply because we unconsciously seek it out.

So instead we should start asking empowering questions that redirect our focus. Questions that assume possibility instead of limitation. Questions that focus on what we can control rather than what we can't. And arguably most importantly, questions that spark curiosity rather than judgment.

The tricky part is figuring out what questions to start training yourself to ask. Everyone is different, so there's no one-size-fits-all solution. But if you need ideas, here are some powerful questions to get you started:

• "What can I learn from this?" This question takes every experience (even the crappy ones) and transforms it into an opportunity for growth.

• "What small step could I take right now?" Instead of getting overwhelmed by the big picture, this question moves us into action and builds momentum.

• "What might make this more interesting?" Rather than defaulting to stress or obligation, this question helps us find engagement and possibility.

These questions create space for possibility rather than constricting us with fear. They move us from being passive victims of circumstances to active shapers of our experience. They transform problems into projects, obstacles into opportunities.

But knowing better questions isn't enough - we need to know when to reprogram these defaults. Let's talk about that next.

Timing is Everything

OK so remember how PageMaker's defaults could only be changed when no documents were open? There's a lot of wisdom in that. Having nothing open. Nothing in progress. Nothing piled up.

So when are our "no documents open" moments? These are the times of mental clarity and calm - early mornings before the day's chaos begins, during a peaceful walk, after meditation, or even in those quiet moments before sleep. These are the moments when our minds are most receptive to establishing new defaults.

It’s a bit like learning to play a musical instrument. You wouldn’t develop new techniques during a concert - you’d practice them in low-pressure situations so they become natural and available when you need them. The same thing applies to our mental defaults.

Here's what this might look like in practice:

• During your morning routine, consciously ask yourself "What opportunities might today bring?" instead of immediately scrolling through problems to solve.

• On your commute, practice asking "How could I make this more interesting?" rather than falling into frustration about traffic.

• Before starting a project, take a moment to ask "What would make this enjoyable?" instead of defaulting to worry about deadlines.

The key is consistency in these calmer moments. You need to repeatedly practice your new questions until they become your natural response. Over time, these better questions become the new mental settings.

In Conclusion

Okay, I know. This all feels very, and I mean very, woo-woo. Touchy feely. New age psycho babble, right?

Trust me, I'm not that guy. I'm pragmatic and practical to a fault. And as woo-woo as this may seem, it's actually quite logical. To prove it, I have a simple experiment for you. It's gonna seem random, but this drove the point home for me, so I am hoping it does for you as well.

For the next week, whenever you're out in the world - driving, walking, commuting - think about blue cars. That's it. Just ask yourself, "How many blue cars will I see today?"

Do this for seven days and watch what happens. You'll be amazed at how many blue cars suddenly seem to appear everywhere - in traffic, parking lots, TV commercials, news stories. They've been there all along, of course. You're just finally noticing them.

This isn't random. The world isn't producing more blue cars. You're simply more aware of what was already there. And this same principle applies to our thoughts and questions.

I've been working on this myself - changing my defaults. It isn't easy; it takes real effort. But woo-woo or not, it works. I've seen real change in my life, and I desperately wish some of the people closest to me would try it too. I watch them unconsciously seek out negativity. A good friend of mine recently said they start each day "getting ready for the next shit sandwich." That kills me. Instead of searching for blue cars, they are looking for something awful - and more often than not, they find it.

If you spend your days looking for problems, asking what could go wrong, or wondering why bad things happen to you, you'll immerse yourself in negativity. Just as those PageMaker users discovered they weren't actually stuck with frustrating defaults, we're not stuck with the automatic questions our minds generate. Yes, our brains are wired to fixate on the negative - scanning for threats and replaying our stumbles. And yes, changing these defaults requires more effort than hitting a reset button.

But when we understand our current defaults, recognize what they could be, and learn to make these changes in moments of clarity, we can transform our inner dialogue. Better questions lead to better answers, and better answers lead to better lives.

So maybe it's time to close all your mental documents and change your defaults. After all, there are a lot of blue cars out there, just waiting to be noticed.

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