Lessons Learned From Chasing Plastic

How bossing children around can make you a better leader.

For over six years, I coached Ultimate Frisbee.

Not familiar with Ultimate? It’s a non-contact, self-refereed team sport played with a frisbee. It’s not exactly the NBA, but I think it is an incredible sport and I am thrilled that both my kids played.

So, each fall and spring, I would head to the field to coach elementary and middle school students at our small school. I worked with kids aged 8 to 14, all at different skill levels. Keeping them focused and motivated wasn't always easy. My tried-and-true technique was simple: if the kids didn’t listen, they ran a lap. But accountability went both ways—if I fell short during our practices, I did push-ups.

We built a competitive program that enjoyed a winning season every year, except once when we finished at an even .500. We also won two city championships and finished in second place in consecutive years. It was a ton of work, stress, time, and energy.

And I loved it.

Ultimate may seem like a ridiculous game, and I may be a bit ridiculous myself, but we took it seriously. These games were significant to the kids, so they were significant to me. I am a ginormous cheese-ball, so I had many sayings I’d use during games and practices. While they might have been cliché or overused, they weren’t cliché to the kids. They were fresh and impactful, carrying the weight they originally held when first heard.

Today, I’d like to share my list of go-to coaching phrases. I believe they're useful whether you're coaching, leading a team, parenting, or working with any group striving to make progress.

• Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. I feel pretty sure that Roman philosopher Seneca was not coaching children’s Ultimate Frisbee when he said this. But this quote endures in sports for a reason. In practice or games, when unexpected events occur—like an overthrown disc caught by a teammate, or a defender tripping and leaving someone open—the reaction is often, 'Oh wow, that was so lucky.' But I’d quickly bark, 'There is no such thing as luck!' I’d remind them that the disc would have hit the ground if they hadn't been there to catch it. By working hard and staying alert, they were ready to seize the opportunity in that moment.

• Don’t let one point beat you twice. Mistakes happen. Sometimes someone gets the better of you. In sports—as in life—it’s crucial to practice forced amnesia. Dwelling on one negative moment is not going to serve you. If you are unable to learn from it, at least don’t let it drag you (and everyone else) down.

• You don’t have to win the game all at once. Sometimes you get really far behind. You know you have what it takes to catch up, but it takes true patience to get there. It can be super tempting to try and do everything all at once. To cram every last bit of progress into one moment. But that rarely works. Remember, the most profound achievements are often met not through giant leaps, but through small, deliberate steps.

• The score doesn’t matter, all that matters is this point. In the championship game, our team quickly fell behind 0-5 in a game to 11. I called a timeout and saw the panic etched on the kids’ faces. I told them, ‘Forget the score. Forget the game. I don’t care about the game. The only thing I care about is the next point. Just focus on this next point.’ If you can channel all your energy, all your passion, into one moment, it can unleash incredible power, especially when everything feels overwhelming. A lot can happen when you concentrate on what you can control and see what unfolds. We won, by the way, 11-8.

• Do the things that don’t show up in the stat column. This axiom holds true for anyone on a team: there will always be those who attract more attention and seek the limelight. These people often receive much of the glory. However, give me someone who can really attend to the details, who understands the bigger picture, and who does the million little things that make everyone better. These are the people who truly help you conquer the world.

• Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. This quote is primarily attributed to high school basketball coach Tim Notke and gained widespread recognition when NBA superstar Kevin Durant mentioned that it inspired him to achieve his goals. Drills can be monotonous and practice can be tough, but I always reminded my players that this is what the work looks like. Just like in the movies, where a montage shows the hero running, lifting, climbing, or training for the big event—that's the essence of preparation.

• Sometimes you just get beat. At some point, regardless of your skill level or the strength of your team, you are going to face defeat. Whether it's the whims of fate or an unexpected setback, challenges will arise. Coaching a winning team is easy, but guiding a team through losses is, in my view, one of the toughest challenges in sports. It demands maintaining motivation and balancing hope with realism. You have to identify and highlight opportunities in losing moments when most everyone is fixated on the outcome. Ultimately, you need to help your team find value in their experience and prepare them for the next challenge. This is true whether you're a 12-year-old on a field or in your mid-30s in an office. Learning to recover from a loss, extracting lessons, and moving forward can often be more valuable than any victory.

• What’s the most important thing? The spirit of the game! “Spirit of the Game" in Ultimate Frisbee is a guiding principle that emphasizes sportsmanship, fairness, and respect among players. It is the responsibility of every player to uphold these values. Since the sport is self-refereed, it relies on the integrity of the players to make honest calls and resolve disputes amicably. This integrity is crucial. Teams are built on trust and each member's ability to contribute, balancing the group's passions with the fundamental reason for their gathering—to come together and strive to do something extraordinary.

My days of coaching frisbee are behind me, and while there are aspects I don't miss—like long afternoons, grumpy parents, and whiny kids—I gained a lot from the experience. I often find myself applying the same principles at my job. Team members need to learn new skills, collaborate, overcome challenges, and, hopefully, succeed. I believe my coaching experience has made me a better leader. If only I could make my co-workers run a lap when they don’t listen.

On Gratitude…

Hey, look at that—200 subscribers!

I’ve really enjoyed writing this and see no reason to stop and seeing that people are signing up makes my day. Again, I am somewhat selfish about this whole thing, it is an exercise for me to be creative, organize some thoughts, and try new things. Buuuut, I do think I will amp up some promotion of Chief Rabbit. It’s fun having a following and more than that, I love building community. Speaking of which, community will be the topic of this newsletter a week from now. But coming soon - delegation.

As always, thanks for reading the Rabbit.