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What An Inch of Insulation Taught Me About Leadership
The Quiet Power of Asking a Better Question
Derek Pharr
March 04, 2025 • Estimated Reading Time: 11 minutes
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We could always hear them having sex.
The walls were paper-thin, and we heard everything. At first, it was kind of funny, maybe even a little sweet. But over time, it got old. We knew they could probably hear us too. And when they fought, it was awful. Yelling, crying, endless late-night discussions.
And then, one night, wailing. Just wailing. All night.
We yelled back, pounded on the walls. Tensions with our neighbor were high.
This was about 30 years ago, and if you’ve ever lived in an apartment, you know shared walls come with the territory. People keep different hours, live different lives, go through different things. But this was becoming unbearable. The rent was cheap, the location was great, and we'd been there for a couple of years, but it felt like time to move.
So we called our landlord to let him know.
Gary, the owner of the Newland Apartments, wasn’t like other landlords. He listened. He asked questions. And then he said:
"Would you be willing to give up about an inch of your bedroom?"
An inch.
He explained that there was a type of insulation, something used in therapists’ offices for privacy. He could install it along our shared wall. It would shrink our room just a little, but it should cut the noise.
We said yes.
Within a week, his crew had installed the new layer, painted over it, cleaned up. We spent one night sleeping in the living room. And then—silence. It was unreal. We never heard our neighbors again.
And Gary wasn’t done. There were a few other vacancies in the building, so he soundproofed those too. As tenants moved out (or gave him the OK), he did theirs as well.
Needless to say, we stayed. In fact, we even managed the building for a while. The only reason we left was because we’d saved up enough to buy a house (that, and Gary eventually sold the place).
It’s been 30 years, and I still think about what he did. That kind of unreasonable hospitality, the willingness to go beyond what’s expected, changes things. You don’t see it often, but when you do, it sticks with you.
So this week, let’s talk about unusual leadership, the kind that doesn’t just fix problems but removes them entirely, the ripple effect of real solutions, and how to start thinking like the kind of leader who changes things for good.
The Default Response vs. the Exceptional One
Most people, when faced with a problem like ours, would have had one of three reactions:
Dismiss it. “That’s just apartment living.” Thin walls? Tough luck. Either you get used to it, or you move.
Offer sympathy, but no action. A half-hearted “Yeah, that sucks,” but no real effort to fix anything.
Suggest a quick, ineffective fix. Maybe a note on the neighbor’s door asking them to keep it down, which, if we are being honest, would have changed nothing.
Gary did something different. He didn’t just acknowledge the problem. He didn’t offer a Band-Aid solution. He reframed it. He looked beyond the immediate noise issue and asked a better question: What would actually solve this?
That’s the difference between average problem-solvers and great leaders. Most people assume problems like ours are just part of the deal. They tolerate them, complain about them, or work around them. But the best leaders? They see assumptions as obstacles. They challenge the idea that something has to be a certain way.
Instead of reacting, they redefine the problem. And when they do, they don’t just fix what’s broken. They make things better in ways most people never even imagined.
The Ripple Effect of Unseen Solutions
At first, what Gary did seemed simple. He made the walls quieter. But in reality, he changed how we experienced our home.
Before the soundproofing, our apartment felt a little like a hotel lobby. We were constantly aware of other people's lives, their conversations, their routines, their worst moments. It wasn't just about the noise. It was the feeling that we never truly had our own space.
After the insulation, everything shifted. The apartment felt different, calmer, livable. We didn't just stay because it was quieter. We stayed because it felt like home again. And we felt listened to.
That's the real impact of great leadership. The best solutions don't just remove an annoyance. They change how people feel, work, and live.
And the ripples don't stop there.
Years later, we became landlords ourselves. We often reference Gary and the way he handled things, his ability to listen and find solutions no one else was considering. His approach shaped the kind of owners we strive to be. That inch of insulation didn't just change our experience as tenants. It shaped how we show up for others today.
The impact of these "unseen solutions" extends far beyond our experience:
Consider the retail store that finally eliminates a convoluted return policy. Suddenly customers aren't just shopping more. They're browsing with confidence, making bolder choices, and building genuine trust with the brand.
Or the medical practice that solves the waiting room problem. Patients arrive without that knot of anxiety, prepared to have real conversations about their health rather than checking their watches.
When a thoughtful manager eliminates unnecessary meetings, the team doesn't just reclaim hours. They reclaim their creative momentum and rediscover what drew them to the work in the first place.
These changes aren't just improvements. They can change how people experience the world. And like Gary's simple solution, they often ripple forward in unexpected ways, shaping how others lead long after the original problem is solved.
What This Looks Like in Practice
Most of us don’t wake up thinking, What invisible problem can I solve today? We’re busy. We accept things as they are. But every frustrating process, repeated complaint, or “that’s just how it is” moment is something of an opportunity to think differently.
If you want to start spotting these moments and approaching problems like a leader, try this:
Notice everyday friction. The best problems to solve aren’t always obvious. Sometimes they’re the small, persistent annoyances that everyone tolerates but no one questions. What’s something that slows people down, creates frustration, or forces unnecessary work?
Look past the first complaint. The real problem isn’t always what people say it is. If someone says, “Our meetings are useless,” they probably don’t hate meetings themselves. They hate the lack of structure, the wasted time, or the unclear purpose. Dig deeper before jumping to a solution.
Question assumptions. Gary didn’t accept that thin walls were just part of apartment life. He found an option no one had considered. Every industry, workplace, and routine is full of “that’s just how it is” thinking. But what if it wasn’t?
You don’t have to be in charge to think this way. You just have to pay attention, challenge assumptions, and ask, “Does it really have to be like this?”
Conclusion: Leadership That Actually Makes a Difference
Simon Sinek put it best:
"Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge."
Good leadership isn’t always about bold speeches or dramatic gestures. Sometimes, it’s about knowing what to change, what to remove, or what to fix to create a better experience for the people you serve.
Gary didn’t just solve our problem. He solved it for every tenant who came after us. The people who moved in years later never had to lie awake listening to their neighbors fight or weigh the trade-off between cheap rent and constant stress. By the time they got there, the problem no longer existed.
That’s what great leaders do. They don’t just fix what’s broken in front of them. They eliminate problems before others even notice them. Their work isn’t loud or flashy, but it’s felt. It’s why employees stay, why customers return, and why teams trust their leaders without hesitation.
Thirty years later, I can’t remember most of my landlords. But I remember Gary. When you solve problems that truly matter, people don’t just appreciate it—they remember. They tell stories about you decades later. They might even try to be a leader like you.
The best leaders create solutions so effective that future generations never even realize there was a problem to begin with. That’s not just good management. That’s leadership that leaves a legacy, long after the inch of insulation is forgotten.
As always, thanks for reading,
— Derek
p.s. Have something interesting you think I should write about? You can reply to this email (or any other Chief Rabbit email) to suggest it.
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That's all for now. See you next week.
Derek Pharr